The Family—A Human Necessity!

It is claimed that human society feels only as good as its families feel. History shows that as the family arrangement erodes, the strength of communities and nations weakens. When moral decay destroyed families in ancient Greece, its civilization disintegrated, making it vulnerable to conquest by the Romans. The Roman Empire remained strong as long as families remained strong. But as centuries passed, family life weakened, and the strength of the empire waned. "The security and elevation of the family and of family life are the prime objects of civilization, and the ultimate ends of all industry," commented Charles W. Eliot, former president of Harvard University.

Yes, the family is a human necessity. It has a direct effect on the stability of society and the well-being of children and future generations. No doubt, there are many, many single mothers who work very hard to rear fine children, and they should be commended for their hard work. However, studies show that children usually are far better off if they live in a family with both parents.

An Australian study of over 2,100 adolescents found that "teens from disrupted families had more general health problems, were more likely to display signs of emotional problems, and were more likely to be sexually active than kids from intact families." A study conducted by the U.S. National Institutes of Health Statistics revealed that children from broken homes were "20-30 percent more likely to have an accident, 40-75 percent more likely to have to repeat a grade of school, and 70 percent more likely to be expelled from school." And a policy analyst reports that "children from single-parent homes are far more likely to get involved in crime than those growing up in traditional homes."

Helping Your Family to Survive

One of the best ways a family can stay united is by spending time together. All members should willingly pool their spare time. That may mean sacrifices. You teenagers, for example, may have to sacrifice some favorite TV program, sports event, or outing with friends. You fathers, who usually are the major breadwinners, do not use leisure time just for a hobby or other personal interests. Plan activities with the family, perhaps how to spend weekends or vacations together. Of course, plan something that everybody will look forward to and enjoy.

Children need more than so-called quality time, that is, a set half an hour or so with the children periodically. They need quantity. A columnist in a Swedish daily writes: "During my 15 years as a reporter, I have met a great number of juvenile delinquents . . . A common denominator is that they seem to have been exposed to quality-time upbringing: 'My parents had no time.' 'They never listened.' 'He was always traveling.' . . . As a parent, you can always choose how much time you will give your child. Your choice is judged 15 years later by a ruthless 15-year-old."

 

Proper view of money

All members should also develop a proper view of money. They should be ready to pool what they can to cover the family's common expenses. Many women have to get a job to make ends meet, but you wives should be aware of the dangers and temptations you might encounter. This world urges you to "fulfill" yourselves and to "do your own thing." It may cause you to become independent and dissatisfied with your God-given role as a mother and homemaker.

If you mothers can be at home and be a guide and friend to your children, it will certainly contribute greatly toward building strong bonds that will help keep your family together through thick and thin. A woman can contribute outstandingly to making a home happy, secure, and functional. "It takes a hundred men to make an encampment, but one woman can make a home," said a 19th-century politician.

If all in the family cooperate to live within the family's total income, it will spare the family many problems. Couples should agree to keep life simple and to put spiritual interests first. Children should learn contentment, not demanding things that the family budget cannot support. Watch out for the desire of the eyes! The temptation to buy things you cannot afford, getting into debt, has led many families into shipwreck. It may be good for family unity if all pool their funds for a joint undertaking—a refreshing journey, some useful and enjoyable equipment for the home, or a contribution to support the Christian congregation.

Another form of "contribution" to a happy family spirit that all family members should pool is the sharing in cleaning and maintenance work—caring for the house, the garden, the car, and so forth. Each family member, even the younger ones, could be assigned some part of a task. You children, try not to waste your time. Instead, develop a spirit of helpfulness and cooperation; this will result in genuine friendship and companionship, which build family unity.

True, the family is severely threatened today by the pressures of the world in which we live. But since the family is from God, it will survive.