Steps to Better Parenting-Part 1

 

“A bouncing baby boy has been born, “so goes the famous saying.

The first time that parents hold a newborn child in their arms, they may be buffeted by conflicting emotions. “I felt deep joy and wonder,” says a father who lives in Britain. “But I also experienced an overwhelming sense of responsibility and felt unprepared for the job.” Says a mother who lives in Argentina, says: “I worried about whether I could care for my little girl’s needs. I wondered, ‘Will I be able to train her to become a responsible adult?"

How can such parents solve their doubts?By following this steps:

 

Seek Good Advice

Can you relate to the joys and fears of those parents? Certainly, raising a child is one of the most taxing yet fulfilling, and frustrating yet rewarding, tasks any human can attempt. As one father said, “you only get one shot at raising your child.” Given the enormous influence parents have on the health and happiness of their children, you may feel a strong need for trustworthy advice on how to be a better parent.

The challenge: Everyone seems to have advice on raising children. In the past, new parents relied on their parents’ example or on their religious convictions to guide them. But in a number of lands, the family unit is decaying and religion has lost its influence. As a result, many parents turn to professional parenting experts for advice. Some of what these experts say is based on sound principles. In other cases the counsel of such experts can be contradictory and may soon be considered out-of-date.

The solution: Seek the advice of the one Person who knows most about how to raise children—the Creator of human life, God.

Create a Loving Home

Children need love and wither without it. In the 1950’s, anthropologist M. F. Ashley Montagu wrote: “What the human organism requires most for its development is a nutriment of love; the source of virtually all health is in the experience of love, especially within the first six years of life.” Modern researchers echo Montagu’s conclusion that “children suffer serious crippling effects when exposed to an inadequate diet of love.”

Challenge: Living in this loveless, selfish world strains family bonds. Married couples may find that the financial and emotional demands of raising children make existing marital problems escalate. For example, differences in opinion between a married couple on how to discipline and reward the children may increase tension between two people who already find it difficult to communicate.

The solution: Plan regular time together as a family. Married couples also need to plan time alone together. Make wise use of the time after the children have gone to bed. Do not allow TV to rob you of these valuable moments. Keep the romance in your marriage by regularly expressing affection for each other. Rather than constantly “finding fault,” look for ways each day to praise your spouse.—

 

 

Exercise Your Authority

Studies show that “children brought up by loving but authoritative parents—those who are supportive of their children yet maintain firm limits—excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves, and are happier overall than kids whose parents are either too lenient or excessively harsh,” says Parents magazine.

The challenge: All the way from babyhood through their teen years, children will challenge your right to exert authority over them. “Children are quick to learn when their parents are afraid to assert their authority and can be relied upon to give in,” writes John Rosemond, author of the book Parent Power! “When it comes to a question of ‘Who’s the boss?’ if parents won’t run with the ball, children will,” he says.

The solution: Do not worry that you will alienate your children or crush their spirit if you exercise your authority. The Originator of family life, does not intend for children to have an equal say in how the family is governed. Rather, he appoints parents to their position of authority and commands children: “Be obedient to your parents.

You can exercise your authority without becoming a tyrant.how?By following the loving example of the originator of the family institution who deals with humans with  kindness though they are imperfect.Before punishing your child,explain to him why you are doing so.This way he will be more inclined to changing his behavior than when you punish him without any explanation which often results to rebellion.So next time you want to raise a finger on your child stop and think about this point. 

How can you gain the confidence to exercise your parental authority in a balanced manner? First, you need to be convinced that God requires this of you. Second, you must be certain that living by God’s moral standards is best for you and your children.

How can you set family rules?The next article will show you how.